This past week dragged its feet with a suffocating lethargy. It's strange, because in the new year, I thought things would look brighter, might excite me to a different degree. Except my reaction is just the opposite. As a second semester sopomore, I seem to have lost most of my motivation. It's sad really, that I want out so badly. It's not that I don't love some of the people here, I do. The anticipation of being in a new place with people I've never seen before is so appealing, I need a fresh start. Things and people here are growing stale, like crackers whose box wasn't closed quite right...

In my heart I know I'll look back on this in the future and kick myself in the ass for wanting to dog-ear this page in the book of life. But I just want so much to get away from this dead ended town, to be free and on my own, living my dreams instead of dreaming them day in and day out. I want to go to college, I want to be a Marine, I want to get married, I want my own life, and I don't want to wait 2 more years.

Standing on the threshold between now and then is becoming harder and harder as the days pass. I feel as though I'm losing my balance and the teetering back and forth is continuous.

It doesn't help that when I walk into class, first thing in the morning, 7:55 am, that it's so painfully obvious that I'd rather be anywhere but there. That's exactly what I don't want my life to be like. I want to love and enjoy life, and it's so hard to do when I'm doing the same damn routine year after year. It makes me want to cry. I feel trapped by this life. I don't even belong in this stupid town. I want to be were the people are alive and interesting, not close minded and afraid of change.

Three day weekend awaits; long, lazy, wasteful hours of sleep are on the horizon.

At least I can take comfort in that.