My world has recently become an overwhelming and depressing jumble. I feel so lost all of the time and no one seems to notice. Even my sleep is interrupted with these weird dreams, and it's so frusterating ecause they keep trying to tell me something and I can't seem to interpret the messages being sent. I want to grow up so badly and just get out of this house, I hate this house. I hate living in this house so much I like school. And it's so painfully obvious when I walk into my classes at 7:55AM that I'd rather be anywhere but there. I hate Mondays and Fridays the most. On Mondays, everyone is talking about al the fun stuff they did over the weekend. Fridays everyone talks about the fun things they plan to do that weekend. I, of course, have nothing to say because my mom won't let me out of the house. I mean, what am I supposed to say. "Oh guess what I did over the weekend! I laid in bed all day and watched re-runs on tv that I've seen 100 times!"

I just can't wait to be 18 years old so I can leave and never come back. All I want is to live my life, hell to have a life would make me happy. I'm always depressed and moody and I have like zero friends because I can never go out and do anything with them. I love my mom and all, but everyday I wish she would have chosen to be anything but a cop. Then maybe life would be bearable. Mom thinks that just because I have the computer, tv, and the phone I have this houge crap load of shit to keep me entertained. The computer has absoloutely nothing fun to do. It's a freaking research tool for pete's sake and all I ever get is junk e-mail and I've worked on my website so much that there's nothing more to do on it. The tv has nothing but re-runs of the same crap over and over again and I do nothing but get fat laying in bed watching it all damn day. And let's not even get started on the phone. Even when I do finally manage to get it away from Daniel for a whole 10 minutes out of the day, nobody's ever home to call. They're all out having lives. Something I'll never know about. Yeah, mom really loves me making my life like this. Her mom never did this to her. I really hate summer. Maybe vacation will be better. I can't wait until school starts.